The WSJ calls it “branding” your newborn. Don’t name that child after his grandfather! He needs a previously unheard of name.
Sean and Dawn Mistretta from Charlotte, N.C., tossed around possibilities for five months before they hired a pair of consultants — baby-name book authors who draw up lists of suggestions for $50. During a 30-minute conference call with Mrs. Mistretta, 34, a lawyer, and Mr. Mistretta, 35, a securities trader, the consultants discussed names based on their phonetic elements, popularity, and ethnic and linguistic origins — then sent a 15-page list of possibilities. When their daughter was born in April, the Mistrettas settled on one of the consultants’ suggestions — Ava — but only after taking one final straw poll of doctors and nurses at the hospital. While her family complimented the choice, Mrs. Mistretta says, “they think we’re a little neurotic.”
I am reminded of the Lewis Black routine about kids named “Asshole” (As-show-la) and “Shithead” (Shi-theed).
When I went to school (Mother of God, that makes me sound old), there was another Chuck the whole time and I knew five Kathys. Somehow, we all survived this debacle.