Do you sometimes feel that there is a hidden enemy working against you in life?

THERE IS. I know, because a flyer I got in the mail told me so. It’s from the Hubbard Dianetics Foundation. Am I my own worst enemy?

Well, they gave me a personality test to make sure. It has a few questions to answer. TWO HUNDRED QUESTIONS. Luckily, there is a Church of Scientology right here in Colorado to help me out.

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3 Responses to Do you sometimes feel that there is a hidden enemy working against you in life?

  1. Jason says:

    So, how’d it turn out? Are you crazy?

  2. Shocho says:

    Oh hell, I didn’t send it in. I was terrified that they knew who I was and where I lived, and then I turned it over to see it was addressed to RESIDENT.

  3. Kathy says:

    These wacky Scientologists keep following me around. First, I had a job one summer selling stuff door-to-door (don’t ask, my mom thought it was a great idea and I was stuck doing it, and yes, it was pure hell) and EVERYONE else who worked for the fly-by-night that did this was a Scientologist. Hushed conversations that ceased when I walked up were pretty normal, since they were talking about sooper-sekrit Xenu nonsense that I wasn’t allowed to hear (without first paying $1999.99).

    Then, once I escaped that summer, miraculously without disappearing at some point while wandering unfamiliar neighborhoods and knocking on doors to bother the living shit out of people who could have been axe murderers for all I knew, I got to college. My tiny college was on one block of downtown Boston, and right on the corner of the next block over, by the T station and on the way to most of the quick food in the area, was some big Scientology “church”/recruiting station. They’d stand outside and try to hand you shit or ask you to come in and take a free test to “learn more about yourself”, which I can only assume based on what I know about Scientology really meant “learn how far you can get into debt and all of the interesting ways you can sign yourself up to hock everything you own and take out funny loans so you can keep working up the ladder.”.

    In related news, after verifying the info in several places online, I not only have to stop watching Will Smith movies (I choose not to support the celebrities who prop up Scientology) I also can’t watch My Name Is Earl anymore, and possibly will never be able to see another Kevin Smith movie with Jason Lee in it, which of course means every Kevin Smith movie ever, excepting Clerks. :(

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