It began in my downstairs office. First thing in the morning, I’d come down and fire up the laptop and turn on the TV (yes, I’m still hooked on the Today Show). Then I heard the noise. Bzzt-bzt-bzt-bzzt-bzt. Coming from the TV. “Damned Comcast,” I said to myself, blaming my cable company for some kind of problem.
Once I heard the noise from my computer headphones, when the TV wasn’t even on. Bzzt-bzt-bzt-bzzt-bzt. That certainly seemed peculiar. I heard it from the TV on my desk so often it became annoying.
Then, I was at work, listening to my headphones. I heard the noise. Bzzt-bzt-bzt-bzzt-bzt. At this point, I figured it was me. It wasn’t a noise in a speaker, it was a noise in my head. It followed me from home to work. That was when I decided I wasn’t going to tell anybody about this, because I was losing my mind.
We went to see my son and visited his apartment. I was talking to him about his computer, and the speakers were on, and I heard the noise. Bzzt-bzt-bzt-bzzt-bzt. I backed away like I had seen some ghostly apparation that followed me from Denver to St. Louis. “What’s that noise?” I couldn’t help but say.
“Where’s your phone?” said my son. He explained that cell phones are occasionally polled to see if they’re available even when you’re not using them. If the phone is near a speaker of some kind, it makes a Bzzt-bzt-bzt-bzzt-bzt noise.
My God, was I relieved! My sanity restored, I blurted out my whole harrowing tale to my son and wife, who looked at me as if I were crazy. But I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t crazy all along, because crazy people don’t think they’re crazy, and I was sure I was crazy throughout the whole ordeal.
I even bought a shield for my phone so it doesn’t make that noise any more. It makes me feel sane just to touch it and look at it.