Never let it be said that I was one to drop the ball when the flag of a new meme needed carrying. Therefore, I feel compelled to tell you all Things That You Didn’t Know About Me.
The first of those Things would be that I’m not the kind of person who likes to tell people things they don’t know about me.
I know you’re all disappointed by this left-handed revelation, but I have an important reason for keeping this information to myself. If I should be visited, any day now, by a quasi-futuristically-clad Me From the Future, I must have ways of authenticating Myself.
In other words, there must remain things about me that no one can know but me so that I can be sure that information from the future delivered by someone who looks like a more distinguished version of myself can be trusted.
For example, if I were to show up from the future to tell myself that all that money I lost in the market was to rebuild itself rather quickly, even though that would be happy news, I would have to ask Me From the Future if he knew where I was when…
Oh, but that would be telling.