How hard should it be to play an MMO?

A lot of the on-ramp for WoW is superb. They’ve recently revamped the new player interface, and it’s slick and better than ever. Questing is a breeze, and so is leveling your character. Heck, it’s even easy to find a group to run a dungeon with now. Itemization, however, is crazily out of control.

I downloaded a spreadsheet to help me determine what kinds of items to seek out for my character, and how to improve them with secondary enhancements like enchantments and gems. This spreadsheet is also supposed to help me understand how my character’s talents work and how to maximize their efficiency. Click that image above to see it full size. The image I have included is only a portion of the spreadsheet; it has TEN TIMES that many rows.

On the spectrum that goes from fun to homework, this is WAY too far over to the homework side. I understand that this will be simplified with the next expansion. I hope it’s going to be simplified a lot. Does a top-level MMO have to provide this kind of homework to be successful? Who really has fun figuring this stuff out?

(I feel it my duty to point out that none of these caluculations matter one tinker’s damn when I’m operating one of the “vehicles” from the last expansion that remove my character, her experience, and all her gear from the gameplay. But I digress.)

World of Warcraft is a different game now.

This guy says that what Blizzard did when they added the Dungeon Finder to World of Warcraft (“a cross-realm looking for group option”) is the same kind of thing that SOE did when they instituted the NGE (“New Game Enhancements”) for Star Wars Galaxies. Which is to say, it’s a different kind of game than it used to be.

SOE changed SWG from an sandbox MMO to a theme park MMO. Blizzard with patch 3.3 just changed WOW from a theme park MMO to a multiplayer game. But where SOE failed Blizzard might just succeed.

Is it still an MMO when you don’t have to venture into the world at all to play? Has WoW become Club Penguin?

Don’t rename things.

When John F. Kennedy was shot, every school in the United States tried to get renamed to “John F. Kennedy Whatever School.” This is not a good idea. Names are important. If you’re opening a new school, then name that one whatever you want. But don’t change the name of something institutional like a school.

As another example, the name of my college has changed. If I tell you I graduated from Florissant Valley Community College, you can’t find any evidence of that school anywhere. After I left, they changed the name to St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley. I threw away my FVCC T-shirt in disgust.

When I named my very first World of Warcraft character, I sat at the computer for about thirty minutes trying to come up with something. I ended up with “Caitlinbree,” named for the character Caitlin Bree in Clerks. (Later I made a Dantehicks, Randalgraves, and Olafoleeson). I never liked that name.

I used to call her Bree in the way that you talk to a game while you’re playing it. When I got my first two-handed weapon for her, it was so damned slow that I yelled, “Swing, Bree!” and that’s where that nickname came from. As time wore on, we started to call her (and me, online) Cait which became insanely confusing when I joined a guild that had a Kate and a Katye.

So after all this frustration I’ve been having for years, Blizzard now provides a way to rename your character. Hey! I can rename Caitlinbree. My friends said not to do it, that was her, that was her name. What would I name her? I wondered.

Then yesterday I’m in one of the big cities and some guy makes a random broadcast on the general channel wanting help with a quest. I say sure, I have that one too. We get a third and we’re off. Half an hour later, we’ve finished the encounter and everybody is happy with loot. Then the third guy says, “Have you been playing for a while?” So I say yes, four years. Turns out he’s been out of the game for over two years, but returned to the same server, and he remembered Caitlinbree.

It’s time for me to take my own advice. You don’t rename a character you’ve been playing for four years. Caitlinbree she shall remain, now and forever. Don’t sue me, Kevin Smith.

Name your characters carefully.

There’s a lovely site about non-combat pets from World of Warcraft called Warcraft Pets created by a player who goes by the name Breanni. It’s a comprehensive list and how-to guide, and you can even make your own pet lists there and print them.

As a lovely thank-you to that player, there is now a dealer of pets and pet supplies in the game with the name Breanni. Well done Blizzard, recognizing the valuable contributions that players can make.

Now, one of the lessons to be learned here is to name your characters carefully. If that player’s character was named “Legollas” or “Pwnshorde” I don’t think Blizzard would have named an NPC after it. So don’t give your characters names like “Caitlinbree.”

How ’bout a little tank and spank?

Dogs and cats, living together.

Can Story and Game live together in the same product? The new version of Tales of the Arabian Nights provides over eight pounds of lovely story, and not quite that much gameplay. Is it possible that there is a linear spectrum between Story and Game and that as you move toward one end, the other is reduced? Is it possible that I could have explained that last sentence with a simple graphic? The answer to the second question is, “Yes.”

An essay by the estimable Mr. Greg Costikyan asserts that Story and Game are different kinds of animals and don’t get along when pets in the same house. You can read that essay here. An excerpt:

In other words, there’s a direct, immediate conflict between the demands of story and the demands of a game. Divergence from a story’s path is likely to make for a less satisfying story; restricting a player’s freedom of action is likely to make for a less satisfying game. To the degree that you make a game more like a story – a controlled, predetermined experience with events occurring as the author wishes – you make it a less effective game. To the degree that you make a story more like a game – with alternative paths and outcomes – you make it a less effective story. It’s not merely that games aren’t stories, and vice versa; rather they are, in a sense, opposites.

I read another fine article (Where is the link, you basterd?) about how story works so poorly in MMOs. Mostly because every player’s lizard hindbrain (which accepts no bullshit) knows that Commander Althea Ebonlocke is too stupid to know that when she tells you to kill 8 Skeletal Warriors that they will just respawn again, so what’s the point? Even though she is smokin hot. (I happen to use an undead mob in this example, but don’t give me any shit for that. Your PC is undead too, so shut up.)

In other words, why should I read through the story text she gives me when it’s obvious she’s an idiot that doesn’t even go check to see if the Skeletal Warriors are killed? Cause if she did, she’d know that her little plan to clean up Duskwood is a total and complete failure.

I believe that every player knows on some subliminal level that story doesn’t work when nothing changes. Story is about things happening that matter. MMO quests are about things that happen that don’t change anything. Even as I leave that graveyard, I see the Skeletal Warriors respawning, so my mission already has the stink of futility.

This is why if you want to see how it should be done, you should do the Death Knight quests in WoW. Those change the world and make a difference. Is this how the Star Wars Old Republic MMO is going to work? I don’t know. I can tell you that I’m looking for a good RPG to play on the PC or PS3 so that I can get some story that matters. That’s not an FPS.

I feel I must also mention that my beloved Althea gives out what I think is the stupidest quest in all of the World of Warcraft. It’s part 11 of “The Legend of Stalvan” quest line. She tells you this: “Show Clerk Daltry the Bloodstained Journal Page.” Clerk Daltry is standing RIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS SHE STANDS BY, not 15 feet away and within full view. Completing this “quest” gives you 230 XP. Quest givers are the laziest entities in all the many universes. However, Althea is still VERY smokin hot.

The Silent Bob approach to group management.

Fan of Silent Bob? Play World of Warcraft? Okay, now I’ve sliced my readership down to a tiny portion, but I still like this article and recommend it.

A big part of getting along with one another in a successful group is knowing how and when to get information across.

Brave n00b world.

A funny and scholarly discussion of the World of Warcraft. The density of the planet, size of explorable surface area, and gravitational acceleration. Excerpt:

The extreme density of Azeroth would explain why it is impossible to pick up many objects from the ground, including ones that you have just dropped. As soon as a discarded object hits the earth we theorize that it picks up a thin coating of superheavy dirt, making it impossible to lift. Living creatures avoid the effects of this dirt sticking to their extremities by having evolved frictionless pads on the soles of their feet. This observable phenomenon, endemic to Azeroth, is known to virtual-world scientists and animators as “foot slide”.

Read the article, it just gets better and better. There’s even a homework assignment at the end.

I am Murloc.

The guys playing guitars are cool. Pretty scary lyrics too.

The World of World of Warcraft.

You love the viral videos! You know you do. I saw a big spike in my hits this week. Here’s a tidbit that A Rich Guy I know showed me. It’s a new game, about playing a game… oh heck, it’s the Onion, just click, it’s funny.