Master of Detuning

If you try to play guitar, you might encounter something called “detuned.” For me, it was Josh Homme and Queens of the Stone Age that were masters of “Drop D” (tune the low E string on the guitar to D) and “C Standard” (every string is two whole steps down). It’s a style choice. It’s cool. The sustain is amazing. Detuned guitar is also a defining sound for Stoner Rock, also called Desert Rock.

Okay, guitar lesson is over. But who did this first? Looks like the winner is Tony Iommi, guitarist for Black Sabbath, on their third album, Master of Reality.

Iommi lost the tips of the two inside fingers on his left hand in an accident when he was a 17-year-old. Creating homemade thimbles for these two fingers, he continued with his rock career, and the rest is history.

For Master of Reality, on three tracks (Children of the Grave, Lord of This World, and Into the Void), Iommi detuned his guitar 1-1/2 steps to make it easier for him to play, since the string tension was lessened.

This produced a unique sound that had other guitarists wondering, “How did he do that?” And as far as I can tell, that’s where this whole detuned sound came from. From adversity comes innovation. Or something like that.

The signs of the Youbetchapocalypse.

Let us read from the Book of Wassilians.

1. When the lamb opened the first seal, I saw the first horse. It was a moose. It ran for vice-president.
2. When the lamb opened the second seal, I saw the second horse. It was a pig. With lipstick. It wrote a book about rouge.
3. When the lamb opened the third seal, I saw the third horse. It was a fox. With a cable channel.

How to be supportive.

All the websites about helping someone to quit smoking say, “Be sure to be supportive!” None of them explains how to do that.

According to our research, that means agreeing with whatever the other person says and doing whatever she wants. Also, the supportive person gets blamed for absolutely everything.

So that’s been our running joke all week.

“I heard that it might snow.”

“It’s not going to snow.

“Well, the weather guys said…”

“SUPPORTIVE!”

‘Yes, you’re right, I don’t think it’s going to snow.”